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writepassions14
11 December 2009 @ 07:52 pm
I am the Way
Follow Me
And take My hand
And I am the Truth
Embrace Me and you'll understand
And I am the Light
And for Me you'll live again
For I am Love
I am Love
I, I am Love
 
 
writepassions14
06 December 2009 @ 06:53 pm
You want to know why I'm so disgusted?
Why every time I think or see or hear about him, I twitch?
You want to figure out what it is that kills me so much
When I look at him on his stupid Facebook page?
When they praise him? Run into me and ask how he's doing?
The very reason why I want to do what I want to do with my life so badly?
Yes, I wish I could tell you too.
Because it's on my mind just about once an hour,
Etched on my eyelids every time I close them,
The bitter taste of disgust on my tongue when I speak.
Yes, it's just a part of the grand plan.
Leave me alone, will ya?
 
 
writepassions14
05 December 2009 @ 08:55 pm

Taylor Ambrose: I'm Taylor. ACL.
Kate Fitzgerald: I'm Kate. APL.
Taylor Ambrose: Oh, a rarity.

By the way, Jodi Picoult is an absolute literary genius.
Holy crap, the movie of My Sister's Keeper made me ill.

---

"If you have a sister and she dies, do you stop saying you have one?
Or are you always a sister, even when the other half of the equation is gone?"

"In nineteen minutes, you can mow the front lawn; color your hair;
Watch a third of a hockey game. In nineteen minutes,
You can bake scones or get a tooth filled by a dentist;
You can fold laundry for a family of five.
In nineteen minutes, you can stop the world;
or you can just jump off it. "

"Did you ever walk through a room that's packed with people, and feel so lonely you can hardly take the next step?"

"If you gave someone your heart and they died, did they take it with them?
Did you spend the rest of forever with a hole inside you that couldn't be filled?"

"Everyone thinks you make mistakes when you're young.
But I don't think we make any fewer when we're grown up."

"Something still exists as long as there's someone around to remember it."

"When you don't fit in, you become superhuman.
You can feel everyone else's eyes on you, stuck like Velcro.
You can hear a whisper about you from a mile away.
You can disappear, even when it looks like you're still standing right there.
You can scream, and nobody hears a sound.
You become the mutant who fell into the vat of acid,
The Joker who can't remove his mask,
The bionic man who's missing all his limbs and none of his heart.
You are the thing that used to be normal, but that was so long ago,
You can't even remember what it was like."

"I love you," he whispered, and that was the moment he knew what he was going to do. When you loved someone, you put their needs before your own. No matter how inconceivable those needs were; no matter how f***ed up; no matter how much it made you feel like you were ripping yourself into pieces."

"How could he convey to someone who'd never even met her
the way she always smelled like rain,
or how his stomach knotted up every time he saw her
shake loose her hair from its braid? How could he describe
how it felt when she finished his sentences,
turned the mug they were sharing so that her mouth landed
where his had been? How did he explain the way they could be in
a locker room, or underwater, or in the piney woods of Maine,
but as long as Em was with him, he was at home?"

"I sometimes think it's easier to be the one who's been
hurt than the one who couldn't stop it from happening."

“The saddest day in the world will be the one when she stops pretending.”

“Could you really love someone who was capable
of falling in love with someone else?”


As it turned out, hell wasn't watching the people you love get hurt;
it was coming in during the second act,
when it was already too late to stop it from happening.”

"You'd think someone who'd been to medical school would be
able to hear through a stethoscope that somebody was empty inside."

"It's crazy, right? To love someone who's hurt you? "
"It's crazier to think that someone who hurts you loves you.”

 
 
writepassions14
05 December 2009 @ 04:33 pm
Well, it's over. 1320 or not, that SAT is finished. I am so beat. My night is going to be committed to High School Musical 3 and My Sister's Keeper. Maybe a few cookies or ten. Last night I had a dream that I went paddle-boating with someone and we (I don't remember who my partner was) were going to race another boat. Two could fit inside each boat. And so I look over and not three feet away from me is John Oh! I kind of freaked inside my head, and then leaned over and was just calm and asked him, "So you're the lead singer of The Maine? I love them." He just kind of looked all flattered and introduced his friend, who I didn't recognize, Jimmy. I looked and looked and I didn't think he was a member of the band, so I just shook his hand, and of course didn'r freak out like I did with John. Then John seemed to kind of get upset. "You don't know Jimmy? Well, you're not a real fan if you don't know who Jimmy is." I knew there was no Jimmy in the band. Then he kind of left me and got fed up with having to put up with me I guess. Then I remember trekking through the jungle and that was it. Weirdest dream in a while. But it was be oh so nice to have John Oh sitting directly next to me in a paddleboat, for sure. By the way, extremely disappointed about the celebrity facebook thing.
 
 
writepassions14
02 December 2009 @ 07:33 pm
Highlight of my day, thank you Rachel Bush:

"OH MY GOSH! HE ACCEPTED MY FRIEND REQUEST!!!"
"Lindsey. Calm. Down."

---

Dear Taylor D,

I know you probably have about a thousand of these end up in your inbox a day, so I understand that you might be reluctant to even read the rest of this. Haha. I just wanted you to know that your body makes me want to bench-press sixty times my own body weight. And you're kind of awesome. And I've been a huge fan since the Sharkboy and Lavagirl days, as well as when you went through your ninja training to sculpt that aforementioned body of yours--- even when you were in Cassi's music video and those brief moments on My Own Worst Enemy. I know that behind this media image of you is probably a Taylor that enjoys his privacy and sometimes a nice burger and fries, perhaps even with a chocolate milkshake to wash it all down. But I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate your talent and your beauty, unlike all of these other New Moon fans. I was still rootin’ for Jacob in Twilight, not just Edward, unlike all of those old women, moms, and other pre-teens. My friends and I saw Taylor, your GF, not you, at a Paramore concert in Nashville (which is close to where I live if you want to come over by the way), and I think it’s pretty awesome that your tall, dark, and handsome looks complement her flaxen locks and pale blue peepers. I hope you weren’t embarrassed on Jimmy Kimmel when you said it’s really hard putting something in your mouth every two hours, because it was probably the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while. I look forward to seeing you howling it up in Eclipse next June, almost July. Thank you for everything you do. Stay fly.

Love,
Lindsey Bell

Wait, not love, because that would be creepy.

Yours truly,
Lindsey Bell
 
 
writepassions14
29 November 2009 @ 11:52 pm
My cable is out and that kind of scares me, because my cable is never out. Everyone else in this house is asleep, so I can't exactly run around and check to see if it's only mine crappin' out or what. Thus, here I am. Here's what I'm thinking: I miss that boy, despite how wrong it supposedly is. I hate another but I'm trying so hard not to, because God doesn't want that. He's far enough away for me to try to forget anyhow. I realized today, like seriously realized, that I'm not going to let all this stupid drama stuff get to me anymore. I'm thankful for having the opportunity to have a home, have a life where I have a family waiting to love on me when I return home from school. I have friends, and despite how many times they may let me down, the times when they don't are worth living for. I am so, so thankful for my God, and I'm going to start showing it. I need to stop falling in love with male celebrities, because chances are quite large that I'm never going to meet them. I need lots of money for college. Lots. I have studied so hard for this SAT test next week that it's almost become a routine to just pick up my book when I wake up and start memorizing. I think that I seriously have a chance at making a 1320 on this thing and getting a grab at this scholarship! I've never felt so in control. I feel especially ready to confront this darn thing head on--- confidence is key, and for once, I have it in the test department, which is pretty odd. Now, mind you, this may all change as soon as I step foot into that terrible place Sycamore, but I'm thankful for that lengthy break we just received. Maybe these next few weeks will be especially chillaxed now that we've done mostly everything. At least in two of my classes, right? I heard it's about fifteen or so more days until Christmas break? Bring it on. Just bring on this test! Bring on taking it at LIPSCOMB! I can do all thing in Christ that strengthen me. Dear Lord--- please strengthen me to ace this SAT! Amen.
 
 
writepassions14
23 November 2009 @ 06:56 pm
I'm so tired of this crap.
Good Lord, how hard is it to simply be kind to someone?
Stop hurling your cruelty at them; it's the exact same as a punch to the stomach.
It's growing harder and harder for me to stand it all.
And dear Lord--- please help me to forget.
On a side note, I got my Red Cross card in the mail today. I'm A negative.
Mom: "Lindsey, stop being so negative. It doesn't help anything."
Me: Sorry Mom. It's in my blood."
And I think I'm getting a Master's degree now. Yep.
It's all falling into place.
 
 
Current Mood: determined
 
 
writepassions14
20 November 2009 @ 10:33 pm
"I . . . need to go home. I'm sick."
"Well if you're sick, then you should go to a hospital. You want me to put you in the hospital?"
New Moon was so good. Definitely worth the hour or so I got of sleep last night.
Saw it twice in fifteen hours!
Yeah, sure. Let's pretend that you still care for me.
Please don't get my hopes up like you always seem to do, because this time
I don't think I'll be able to take the disappointment.
Ugh, I know this is all because I just saw the wonderful
wonderful wonderful Jacob Black and my lack of sleep from the night before.
But, still. 

 
 
writepassions14
18 November 2009 @ 10:18 pm
I just find it effing hilarious how everyone sees him as this huge hero and I'm stuck with being the one who looks like a party pooper because I won't give him a proper welcome. I'm sorry it all snuck up on me. I'm sorry that it would absolutely kill you, then me, if you found out what it is that's really making me act this way. I want so badly to get this feeling out of me, but I can't, and I hate that I'm taking it out on other people simply because I can't channel it anywhere else. Everything comes back to me in this huge rush when I least expect it, more and more often lately, and all I want to do then and there is get up, leave, and scream at the top of my stupid lungs. Maybe everything will eventually be okay. Take a deep breath.
 
 
writepassions14
08 November 2009 @ 02:44 pm
I think it just truly hit me today.
And maybe that's why I feel so sick to my stomach.
 
 
writepassions14
07 November 2009 @ 06:07 pm
Not that this changes any of the things I think about her, but I'm absolutely and utterly floored right now.
My heart is beating and my hands are almost shaking.
Ever since I was about eight, I always had a little inkling that it was going on.
The smell was what gave it away. The numerous bottles of cleaners. The fact the door was always closed.
I should never have gone looking for it. Sometimes, they say, that ignorance is bliss.
While I've always been curious about it, I've never really fully known, ya know?
I just don't understand why she hides it. My mother doesn't even know.
I think she knows I know too. Oh, crackers, crackers.
 
 
Current Mood: blank
 
 
writepassions14
07 November 2009 @ 05:58 pm
i am  

I'm an angel, I'm a devil
I am sometimes in between
I'm as bad it can get
And good as it can be
Sometimes I'm a million colors
Sometimes I'm black and white
I am all extremes
Try figure me out you never can
There's so many things I am

I am special
I am beautiful
I am wonderful
And powerful
Unstoppable
Sometimes I'm miserable
Sometimes I'm pitiful
But that's so typical of all the things I am

I'm someone filled with self-belief
And haunted by self-doubt
I've got all the answers
I've got nothing figured out
I like to be by myself
I hate to be alone
I'm up and I am down
But that's part of the thrill
Part of the plan
Part of all of the things I am

I am special
I am beautiful
I am wonderful
And powerful
Unstoppable
Sometimes I'm miserable
Sometimes I'm pitiful
But that's so typical of all the things I am

I'm a million contradictions
Sometimes I make no sense
Sometimes I'm perfect
Sometimes I'm a mess
Sometimes I'm not sure who I am

I am special
I am beautiful
I am wonderful
And powerful
Unstoppable
Sometimes I'm miserable
Sometimes I'm pitiful
But that's so typical of all the things I am

I am special
I am beautiful
I am wonderful
And powerful
Unstoppable
Sometimes I'm miserable
Sometimes I'm pitiful
But that's so typical of all the things I am
Of all the things I am
Sometimes I'm miserable
Sometimes I'm pitiful
But that's so typical of all the things I am
Of all the things I am
 
 
writepassions14
04 November 2009 @ 06:38 pm
All I could think about today was how much I wish I could live life on the edge.
Living on a tour bus, seeing the world, stopping off at McDonalds every couple of hours, constantly immersed in your life, music.
Also, writing a book would be nice, and so would fallin' in love.
I guess God was right. There's a time for everything.
I just hate waiting.
 
 
Current Mood: sore
 
 
writepassions14
04 November 2009 @ 03:21 pm
So let me tell you what happened last night.
I got so close to John O'Callaghan that I almost could have reached out and touched him.
He got a haircut; he was fine without one, but he still looks amazing nonetheless.
A girl, who was but a few feet from me, instead of me, was chosen to go up on stage by him to sing with him my favorite song, "Girls Do What They Want."
ARE YOU SERIOUS!
Darn darn darn it. But I swear, he looked me in the eyes when he was singing at one point.
And Martin? Yes, he sung to me a few moments too. We had our connection.
My space was violated, maimed, and beaten last night. My bubble burst.
We almost suffocated, didn't we Kate?
I've never been so sweaty like that simply from body heat. Other's people's at that.
And I almost tackled a girl and ripped out her hair.
Stup stupid stupid girls. Can't they see that he's mine?
But it was just wonderful.
 
 
writepassions14
02 November 2009 @ 05:08 pm
Paramore was absolutely incredible.
I saw Taylor Swift and Hayley Williams in one night!
Give me attention, I need it now!
And you're a liar, which is pretty funny and a bunch of other things that would be cruel of me to say.
The Maine is tomorrow!
I will be able to officially touch John O'Callaghan tomorrow. And Martin Johnson.
Get ready, boys.
 
 
writepassions14
01 November 2009 @ 01:13 pm
Last night? Best night in a long, long time.
Mummy pizzas. Touchdown Cake. The Ring. "Oh gah, I hate this paaart!" Saw. Fired Up! "At OH Shit hundred hours!" Lipscomb Talk. "Is Kate singin' to herself?" "How 'bout we just cancel everything?" Monster Apple Bites. "Look, mine's droolin'!" Daniel's monster costume. "I'm gonna eat you up!" "I have something that will make you feel better!" "Aw, it's in a napkin!" And, after everyone left but Rachel and Kate, I ripped my pants completely off.
 
 
writepassions14
30 October 2009 @ 10:18 pm
Where's your gavel? Your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me
Well sentence me to another life.

Don't wanna hear your sad songs,
I don't wanna hear your pain,
When you swear it's all my fault
Cause you know WE'RE NOT THE SAME
NO, WE'RE NOT THE SAME, OH WE'RE NOT THE SAME.

Yeah, we used to stick together
We wrote our names in blood.
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good.
It's good, it's gooood.
 
 
Current Mood: calm
 
 
writepassions14
29 October 2009 @ 11:02 pm
Sometimes, people need to step back and look upon scenes in their life--- how they speak, act, laugh, live--- from day to day.
Let's figure out if you're becoming who you really want to be remembered as.
 
 
writepassions14
26 October 2009 @ 09:31 pm
Everything is just kind of running together in one huge blur these days.
I look for scholarships, a bit obsessively at that, study for the ACT, whine about how I hate Sycamore and the people in it, and then go to sleep.
At least I have some things to look forward to in the next week or so.
Concerts. New Moon. Caving.
All of the things that seemed so far, far away and out of reach months ago . . .
Dude, they're already here. It's almost November!
Then comes December, and then no more Pre-Cal!
I've got to go home, I've been so alone you see . . .
 
 
Current Mood: calm
 
 
writepassions14
25 October 2009 @ 07:24 pm
Oh, how funny it is that we all have secrets that we would never tell anyone in a million years.
Finn is probably the dumbest character I've ever loved. But I love him, nonetheless.
 
 
Current Mood: crazy
 
 
 
 

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